How your tongue can shape your relationship—for better or worse
We’ve all heard it before: “Words have power.” But few of us realize just how true that is until we see the effects of what we’ve said, whether in encouragement or regret.
The Bible says it clearly:
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” — Proverbs 18:21
Words are not just sounds—they are seeds. They carry the power to grow love, trust, and intimacy… or to plant bitterness, pain, and distance.
Communication is the Lifeline of Marriage
In every marriage, communication is the heartbeat. It’s how we resolve conflict, show affection, share our hearts, and stay connected. Your relationship’s strength—or weakness—often comes down to the words you use daily.
Sadly, we live in a world that treats words lightly. Sarcasm, passive aggression, and criticism have become the norm in entertainment and even in everyday conversations. The result? A culture desensitized to the damage careless words can cause.
If you come from a background where criticism, yelling, or verbal abuse are common, it’s easy to repeat those patterns without realizing the harm.
But here’s the truth: You have the power to change that.
If You Don’t Like the Harvest, Change the Seeds
Every word we speak is a seed. Over time, our words create a harvest in our relationships. If your marriage feels distant, tense, or wounded, it might be time to look at the seeds you’ve been planting.
Encouraging words plant peace. Honest words build trust. Gentle words soften hearts. But harsh words? They build walls.
If you want a different harvest in your marriage, change your seeds.
Pause Before You Speak
Today, I challenge you to be more mindful of your words. Before speaking, take a moment to pause and ask yourself:
- Am I building up or tearing down?
- Is this coming from a place of love or frustration?
- Will this help heal or cause harm?
Questions to Reflect On:
- Am I communicating with my spouse enough, not just logistics, but emotionally and spiritually?
- Do I speak praise, appreciation, and kindness often?
- Have I said anything recently that I need to apologize for?
- Am I using my words to bring life or death into my relationship?
Speak Life, Not Death
You have one life to live. One marriage to nurture. One tongue—and with it, the power to either bless or break the heart of the one you love most.
Choose life. Speak love. And watch the seeds you plant today grow into a harvest of deeper connection, healing, and joy.
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