Tag Archives: battlereadycouple

The Power of Words in Marriage

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How your tongue can shape your relationship—for better or worse

We’ve all heard it before: “Words have power.” But few of us realize just how true that is until we see the effects of what we’ve said, whether in encouragement or regret.

The Bible says it clearly:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” — Proverbs 18:21

Words are not just sounds—they are seeds. They carry the power to grow love, trust, and intimacy… or to plant bitterness, pain, and distance.

Communication is the Lifeline of Marriage

In every marriage, communication is the heartbeat. It’s how we resolve conflict, show affection, share our hearts, and stay connected. Your relationship’s strength—or weakness—often comes down to the words you use daily.

Sadly, we live in a world that treats words lightly. Sarcasm, passive aggression, and criticism have become the norm in entertainment and even in everyday conversations.  The result?  A culture desensitized to the damage careless words can cause.

If you come from a background where criticism, yelling, or verbal abuse are common, it’s easy to repeat those patterns without realizing the harm.

But here’s the truth: You have the power to change that.

If You Don’t Like the Harvest, Change the Seeds

Every word we speak is a seed.  Over time, our words create a harvest in our relationships.  If your marriage feels distant, tense, or wounded, it might be time to look at the seeds you’ve been planting.

Encouraging words plant peace.  Honest words build trust.  Gentle words soften hearts.  But harsh words?  They build walls.

If you want a different harvest in your marriage, change your seeds.

Pause Before You Speak

Today, I challenge you to be more mindful of your words.  Before speaking, take a moment to pause and ask yourself:

  • Am I building up or tearing down?
  • Is this coming from a place of love or frustration?
  • Will this help heal or cause harm?

Questions to Reflect On:

  • Am I communicating with my spouse enough, not just logistics, but emotionally and spiritually?
  • Do I speak praise, appreciation, and kindness often?
  • Have I said anything recently that I need to apologize for?
  • Am I using my words to bring life or death into my relationship?

Speak Life, Not Death

You have one life to live.  One marriage to nurture.  One tongue—and with it, the power to either bless or break the heart of the one you love most.

Choose life.  Speak love.  And watch the seeds you plant today grow into a harvest of deeper connection, healing, and joy.

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Naked

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I pray that everyone had a blessed weekend.

For most of us, there’s a deep desire to be loved, heard, needed, wanted, desired, and pursued. I believe every marriage should be full of these things—overflowing, even.

As I share on the topic of “naked,” I encourage you to open your heart and ask God to reveal how you can become the best version of yourself—and how you can consistently show up for your spouse.

“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” 
(Genesis 2:25)

I find it so powerful that when God created Adam and Eve, He made them naked, and they had no shame.

That word “naked” in Genesis 2:25 means “to be exposed.” In other words, God designed marriage to be a space where we can expose ourselves fully—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and physically—without fear, without shame.

Because of this, we can experience intimacy on every possible level. When you are truly “naked” in your marriage—fully exposed and unashamed—you offer your spouse complete access to your life.

You can talk about anything without fear.
You can express your sexuality without inhibition.
You can share your darkest struggles and brightest dreams without worrying about being judged.

But all of this depends on one key condition: that the relationship remains naked, with both spouses willing to remain exposed, honest, and vulnerable in every area.

This goes so much deeper than just the physical. It creates a level of connection and purity that every relationship deserves.

If something has created a wall between you, take responsibility. Apologize for any hurtful words or actions, and begin moving forward, hand in hand.

We must always be intentional about how we treat each other. Watch your words, your attitudes, and your actions. Don’t allow yourself to start taking each other for granted. When you make a mistake, be quick to apologize.

This is how you build a “naked” marriage—the kind God intended.

Remember, it’s NEVER too late to change!

And don’t forget to enjoy the journey!

Battle Ready: Couples “The Pursuit”

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Pursuit Defined: “The action of following or pursuing someone or something.”

When we talk about pursuing our spouse, it means actively and intentionally seeking after them—to cultivate and strengthen the relationship. It’s about making a consistent effort to spend quality time together, engage in meaningful conversations, and discover or rediscover shared interests. Pursuing your spouse means showing up for them emotionally and physically because those two are the power twins of a thriving relationship.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.”
Genesis 2:24

The Hebrew word for “joined” or “cling” in this verse is dabaq, which means to pursue with great zeal. From the very beginning, God was clear: marriage is work! That’s right—it takes intentional effort, but the reward is a deep, lasting love that’s worth every bit of energy you pour into it.

Couples fall in love because they invest in each other. We try to impress one another, we’re careful to be sensitive, and we go out of our way to please. But somewhere along the journey, many couples shift into “coasting mode.” We stop investing. We stop pursuing. Comfort settles in—and with it comes the risk of taking each other for granted. The energetic behaviors that sparked love begin to fade. The result? Lost passion, boredom, and tension.

I can’t speak for everyone, but if we’re being honest, many of us have been there—or are there right now. This comfort zone, if left unchecked, can become a breeding ground for conflict and disconnection, leaving couples passionless and, at times, standing at the edge of separation.

But here’s the good news: resurrection is possible. It doesn’t happen overnight, but with intention, humility, and a little hard work, we can fire up our marriages to be better than they’ve ever been.

Let’s Take Action Together

Pray Together
Faith-filled prayer changes things.

Mark 11:23-24 NKJ “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore, I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

Talk It Out
Ask each other these questions. Listen with open hearts—no interrupting, no negativity, just honest conversation.

  • Do we sometimes take each other for granted?
  • If so, in what ways?
  • What practical steps can we take to begin pursuing each other again, the way we did when we were dating?

Walk It Out

What I mean with “Walk It Out” is to take action steps like:

  • The next time you’re in the car together, reach for your spouse’s hand.
  • When out walking, take the initiative to hold hands.
  • A good bye kiss OR an I LOVE YOU before you end your phone call.

Just taking these simple, quiet gestures says “I’m still here. I still choose you. I still want you”.

It’s all about bringing something new into the moment and even if they don’t respond, just keep investing because it will pay off.

Marriage isn’t easy BUT it’s worth whatever it takes, no investment on our behalf is too much.  

In a world where marriages are falling apart daily, let’s be the light in the world to show what a lasting marriage looks like!

Remember, it’s NEVER too late to change, so let the pursuit begin =)

And don’t forget to enjoy the journey!

Battle Ready – Couples:  “You Don’t Always Have The Answer”

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned (and am still learning), it’s this: I don’t always have the answer—and that’s okay.

When Debbie is going through one of life’s speed bumps, I struggle. I hurt because she’s hurting. For years, I believed it was my job to fix it, to say or do something I thought would be helpful and make it better. But sometimes, trying to help actually made it worse.

I’ve come to realize: Only God can be the calm in the middle of the storm. We’ve got to stop trying to play God in our spouse’s life. That role is already filled.

I read a statement a few years ago that didn’t truly hit home until recently:
“It’s okay not to have all the answers to your spouse’s struggles.”
I’ll be honest—I didn’t like that truth. It feels like I’m giving up when I can’t help, but the more I pray over this, the more I see the truth in it.
I’m not God—and that’s not just okay… it’s necessary as we are called to fully rely on Him above all others.

So often, when we try to help, we draw from our own past struggles. We tell stories, offer advice, and try to give perspective. And while our intentions may be good, sometimes what our spouse hears is:
“I got through it. You should be able to as well.”

That’s not helpful; in fact, it can feel dismissive and create even more issues.

What our spouse really needs in that moment isn’t a solution.
They need presence.
They need compassion.
They need prayer.

Sometimes, that means praying with them out loud in the moment. Other times, it means silently lifting them up while sitting quietly beside them, holding space, being a rock, being there.

We have to remember to validate their feelings, no matter what we think they should feel. It’s not about fixing. It’s about being supportive, present, and listening.

And let’s be honest: shutting our mouths and just listening in love can be one of the hardest things to do—especially when everything inside us is screaming, “Say something! Fix it!” But love often looks like quiet strength.

You don’t always have the answer—and that doesn’t make you weak. It makes you humble. It makes you teachable. It makes you human.

And when we lean into that, we create space for God to do what only He can.