Author Archives: Dr. Keith & Debbie (Zirkle) Spanberger

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About Dr. Keith & Debbie (Zirkle) Spanberger

Husband, Father, Friend, Purpose Coach, CEO, Writer, Blogger, Entrepreneur​, above all, I'm a man God can use. That's me! Living my dreams & helping others do the same...

What Do You Say?

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new year 2016

I wonder how many were counting the minutes until 2015 would end, in an almost fearful state of mind? I know there was also a group that was embracing every second that 2015 was going to give them; believing to the very last second for breakthrough, healings, restorations, transformations, etc.

Life gives us two options, to embrace and fight against whatever is coming our way OR give up and accept what is. I have found that if I decide to embrace the moment through Christ, it goes much differently than if I fight against it on my own strength and power. Embracing does not mean giving in and giving up, but instead knowing that God has your back and by faith through grace we can do ALL things through Christ.

According to Webster, one of the definitions of embrace means, “to use (an opportunity) eagerly”. In Christ, we have all kinds of opportunities, but on our own we are VERY limited! In Christ, we tap into a limitless power that says, “I CAN”. I CAN do all things through Christ. I CAN do great things. I CAN walk in divine health and wholeness. I CAN live blessed above and beyond all I could ever ask or think. I CAN! I CAN! I CAN!

So, what are you now going to say about 2016? It’s up to you!

“Growing Pains” in your marriage =)

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My wife, Debbie, and I just attended a really great marriage conference hosted by Kirk Cameron, and with special music by Warren Barfield. (You can CLICK HERE and find out more about this conference and upcoming events.) It was a really great date night for us and I wanted to share with the guys out there, what I walked away with from this event.

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Before the main conference started, we had the opportunity to go to a VIP time where Kirk spoke to a small group of us and then did an autograph session afterwards. It was really cool to meet him!

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As I looked around at all of the couples in the room, I wondered what their relationships were like. Now as for me, I’m married to my best friend. We did not spend our childhood growing up together, but when we met, something just clicked. I would say that, YES, it was love at first sight, at least for me =) But let me add, that the road to where we are 23 years later from that first date, has not always been an easy one. I have told on myself many times in my writings and probably will have many more times to do that, but that is not the point of this post. Our journey, although one filled with lots of good, bad and sometimes ugly encounters, always seems to just get stronger and stronger, in our love for one another.

One of the highlights of the night, was when Warren Barfield sang “Love is not a Fight”. I know most of you have probably heard this song, but if you have not, I would recommend CLICKING HERE to go listen to it; truly listen to the words! I know that all couples are at different places and have traveled different journeys, but I believe that Warren’s song says it all, “Love is worth fighting for”!!

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Kirk spoke a simple to follow and easy to understand message all based on one scripture. He used 1 Peter 3:7 (NKJ) “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” Now I’m sure if you compared notes with my wife and others there that night, we all had a different take on what he was saying, but I’m going to share in this post what I walked away with.

Here are 6 points based on this scripture:

  1. “Dwell with them” – Spend time with her, invest time getting to know the uniqueness of the person she is. Our investment into our spouse, is important and will strengthen and grow our relationship.
  2. “Understanding” – To understand anything in life we have to grow in the knowledge of it. We should know her, her likes and dislikes, favorite color and so on. Feeling understood is important to almost everyone and so who best should understand your wife, than you?
  3. “Honor” – We as guys, need to move beyond respect and actually honor our wives. We honor her by how we treat her, both in private and public. Both when we are with her and when we are apart. We should NEVER make her the punch line of our jokes and she should never be seen by others as being less than the most important person or thing in our life, second only to God. She is NOT your sister, so remember that in how you treat her. Kirk mentioned that we should inventory all that she does. Start making a written list of all that she does around the house, what she does for you and the children and what she does for others and when that list is finished, you should make sure she knows that she is 100% appreciated.
  4. “Weaker vessel” – Now never think for a moment, that this means that this weakness dictates your right to control her! You’re called by God to be a leader and not a dictator; she can’t follow someone who is not leading her somewhere! I see it as a reference to the fragileness as that of the finest china or other precious item. We should have our wives backs and never allow anyone to make her feel like she has been backed into a corner. I myself have failed at this one and when I think back to those times, I cringe! We should ensure that she feels safe and bring peace to the situations of life. This is one place that my heart was convicted strongly of at the conference. There have been times that we have been driving and Debbie has gotten scared over something I or another driver might have done and instead of comforting and making her feel secure, I responded negatively and got offended.
  5. “Grace of life” – Our love for our wives should be just as God’s love is for us. It should be FREE and not based on what she says and does, but solely on what I know I’m supposed to do and be. Grace defined to me, is simply unmerited favor and kindness. So again, it’s FREE!
  6. “Prayers not be hindered” – Now I don’t believe God turns His back on His kiddos, but I do believe that we can close the door on our blessings. Our love walk is key to the success of all that we put our hands to do. Marriage, business, all areas; so with that said, I believe that if we are not walking in love, then everything is pretty much going to be out of whack and spiraling downhill for us.

These 6 areas I believe are key to having a healthy and blessed marriage and making your wife feel like the queen she is. Always remember that she was God’s daughter before she was your wife! I see God’s grace in this, because if someone hurts my daughter, then they might get to see a side of me that might be very surprising and if God created all things by His words, then I’m sure He could relocate things by His words. Just saying! =)

We need to take responsibility as the God ordained leaders we have been called and created to be. We need to take responsibility for our actions and today, make right the wrongs and ask forgiveness for any areas we have fallen short in.

Make consistency the new normal in these areas and watch your marriage become the one God wants you to have.

Kingdom Thinking Podcast Update

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For those that do not know, we have a Kingdom Thinking Podcast on iTunes and just started something new called Warrior Moment.

Here is the iTunes link: https://goo.gl/nLH3iH

Here is the link from this morning’s Warrior Moment: http://goo.gl/TT0foP

Our PodCasts are works in process and honestly, always will be; BUT we hope you enjoy them =)

Blessings – Keith & Debbie

Missions

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Keith speaking at the Shiloh church Missions Conference in Sierra Vista, AZ.

Debbie and I just returned from a ministry trip which included me being the main speaker at a mission’s conference. What a special treat to see a church so on fire for missions, that they were not trying to create another ministry group or such, but just bring like minded people together. There were many denominations represented at the conference, BUT not once did we debate doctrine or theology; but instead, we just encouraged and talked about the purpose we all have here on this earth and that brings me to the point of this post!

MISSIONS!!!!!

Missions to me, is one of the most misunderstood subjects. Many think that the mission field is some remote international destination. But that can’t be further from the truth! We use this theory to disqualify ourselves from the calling we all have. Let me say it in a simple and easy to understand way. WE ARE ALL CALLED! Now that does not mean we are all called in the same way, but we are ALL called.

Now you might be saying, “But I’m not, I work a job or own a business and I’m not called to be a missionary.” However, the commission is not limited to some; but instead, it pertains to all! Six times in five different books of the Bible, Jesus gave the great and only commission to us all. Grab your Bible and read the following scriptures: Matthew 10:5-8, Matthew 28:18-20, Mark 16:15-18, Luke 24:47, John 20:21-23, Acts 1:8. So, there are the orders from the real Commander In Chief and where is the real mission field? Take a moment and look down at your feet. You are now seeing “your” mission field. In this mission field that we are walking in day in and day out, we don’t always need something spiritual or some great prophetic word. Many just need to SEE and HEAR the love of Jesus. Sometimes, the greatest impact is made, not through words spoken, but a Kingdom life well lived.

So, there you have it, simple and uncomplicated – your part in the fulfillment of the “Great Commission”. John 3:16 tells us that “God so loved the world, that He gave Jesus. He did not come down and preach a sermon or drop some conviction; but instead, He loved!”

So today, bloom in the mission field you’re walking in, living life so large for Christ that people are drawn to you.

You’re an answer to prayer and we speak Kingdom life over you and yours this day.

BUT!!!!!

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Welcome to another Kingdom Thinking blog post in the Kingdom Relationship series. I’m finding that I’m my best person to focus on when deciding my topics. I guess you could say that I’m telling on myself! So buckle-up, grab a pen, notepad, and Bible, and let’s get this journey underway.

First though, if you have not read the other posts in this series, here are their links:
And Two Shall Become One…
All Or Nothing!
Two In, Two Out

So now back to my story =) This last week, my wife, Debbie, and I had a disagreement. Actually, we had to agree to disagree. BUT I felt I was right and was determined to prove it. Anyways, after I acted like a 5 year-old, she went her way and I went mine, but my conscious got the best of me and so I went back to her office and apologized. Now that would have been fine and dandy, but I did not leave it at I’m sorry. I added the infamous BUT in the sentence! Now that’s all I’m going to say about that. =)

I think it is CRAZY that two words can be so hard for many to speak and if they are spoken, then how hard it can be to not add anything other than “I LOVE YOU” after them. I recently read something that said a good apology has three parts:
1. I’m sorry
2. It’s my fault
3. What can I do to make it better

You might not define this as a good apology, but I think it is for sure one that will make life better than some apologies I have heard. (I also know that silence is an answer that sometimes screams louder than words).

My wife’s uncle, Pastor Jerry Zirkle, was my first pastor and he used to say, “Whoever says I’m sorry first, is right”. Debbie has always told me that I can be the one that is right. =) Right or wrong, an apology is the starting place for every battle to truly end. I believe that just fuming until one decides to grow up and move on, never brings resolution to an issue, BIG or small. We owe it to each other to give an apology and ask for forgiveness. True forgiveness means leaving that issue there and never bringing it up again later.

God designed us to love and to care for not just ourselves, but for one another. Actually, we are to prefer one another above ourselves. Romans 12:10 (AMP) “Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.” Admitting you might have said or handled something wrong does not make you a lesser person, but instead, a bigger person than you might have given yourself credit for.

I’m making this post short on purpose, but I’m praying that the impact is eternal. Right now, if there is someone you need to apologize to, then there is no better time than right now.

So that’s the end to this part of the adventure in the Kingdom Relationship series, but I feel that there will be more posts in this series. Until next time, I pray God’s richest over you and yours!

Two in, Two out

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Welcome to another episode in the KINGDOM RELATIONSHIP series. If this is your first time to read on this series, I will post links below for you to catch up. So buckle-up and away we go!
And Two Shall Become One…
All Or Nothing!

It does not take long for a person to realize that life seems to come with its fair share of opportunities. These may be good, bad, or really, really ugly, but no matter what it is that life brings us, we as husband and wife should never be in the mix of it alone.

We could use the fire fighter thought process that says, “We never enter into the fire alone”; or I also like the military term, “battle buddy”. Whichever thought process you want to take, they both dictate that two are better than one and this holds true in marriage. Far too often, people walk through the fires of life alone or slay the dragon of the day with no one having their backs.

I myself have been blessed with an amazing wife, one who has stuck by my side through this adventure we call life. Debbie and I have fought some enormous fires, slayed some vicious dragons, and walked away with some battle wounds, BUT we have also grown closer together during those times. We meant it when we said, “for better or for worse”. In fact, in the first post in this series, I dedicated it to my amazing wife, because without her I would not be the man I am today! THANKS Mi Amor!

Too often, a spouse becomes a casualty in the battles of life, because day after day they are in the trenches with no support. This is what happens when we stop focusing on what is truly important or should I say the one who is the most important, which is God first and then our spouse. Nothing should be placed before your spouse other than God, NOTHING!

Our greatest example of true love is in John 3:16 “For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ([a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.” You see, Kingdom love does not have a limit or reservation in how much is to be given. Christ gave it all at the cross and daily we are to do the same. We should end each day knowing we gave ALL we could, love without reservation, especially in our relationship with first God, then our spouse, kiddos, then family and friends. I think you get the picture I am painting here.

Kingdom love is not something that should have to be earned and it can never be purchased. It also cannot be ruled with a dictator mindset. Guys, I know the Word says that we are to be the head, BUT that place of great honor cannot be forced, it must be revealed through your daily walk with God and your expressions and attitude of love that is shown.

I’m going to end with this for now. A failed relationship means that God was not put first. When God is first in our lives, then I believe that everything else will fall into place. One of the ways we put Him first, is by seeking Him daily in the Word and through this we get revelation and insight on how to be the spouse He has called us to be. Marriage is a “God ordained covenant” between a man and a woman. It was never meant that we marry someone and not walk hand in hand, and side by side through the journey of life.

Question: What has your journey in life revealed to you about your marriage?

All Or Nothing!

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Welcome to Part 2 of my series on “Kingdom Relationships”. I mentioned in Part 1 (CLICK HERE TO READ) that after reading comments from the pictures I put on Facebook from my Anniversary Date Day on May 1st, I was led in my heart to start this series. The response from part 1 was very humbling and I pray that this one will resonate with those that have ears to hear. So away we go!!!!

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
Ephesians 5:25 (AMP)

When I read that above scripture, it screams the title of this post, “ALL OR NOTHING”! Jesus gave everything by what He did on the cross. So when I read in Ephesians 5 how God is describing marriage and see in verse 25 where it says He “gave Himself,” I see it telling us we are to do the very same. Marriage is a 100% deal or it will never be what God intended it to be – a Kingdom Relationship.

Typical society has the Tom Cruise mentality from Jerry Maguire where he told his female co-star, “You complete me”. For a season of my life, I bought into that myself that we each brought 50% and together we made 100%, which offered a complete relationship. Honestly, God created us 100% because in Genesis 1:26-28 He said, “He made us in His Image and likeness.” (CLICK HERE TO READ). SO with that said, if His image is whole and complete, then so is yours by default or design. We are to enter into marriage 100%, giving 100%, and I believe if we do this, then marriage statistics in the US would totally change.

I love the song John Legend wrote, ALL OF ME.

So what does it mean to have an “all-in attitude” in your marriage? That nothing or no one comes before your spouse other than God. The desire to serve over being served, is what you attempt to do in your daily walk of life. You are willing to put your dreams, wants, and desires on hold to help your spouse achieve theirs. You’re attentive to how you can help and don’t wait to be asked. This list could keep going on and on just like the Energizer Bunny, but I think you get the point.

Now please know that the point of this post is NOT to make someone feel less than, BUT instead, to awaken ones heart to the type of love and passion that was crafted in us by design. A love that is perfected not by getting our needs met, but instead, by meeting the very needs of our partner on this adventure we call life.

So as “TWO BECOME ONE” and have an “ALL OR NOTHING” attitude, then and only then will we see the true path to a Kingdom Relationship.

I want to encourage you to spend time with your spouse reading these posts and discussing how they are speaking to you. Be sure you have open ears to hear and an open heart of love and grace.

So that’s it, FOR NOW, but this adventure has only just begun! =)

And Two Shall Become One…

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After reading comments from the pictures and posts I put on Facebook from my Anniversary Date Day on May 1st, I was led in my heart to start this series. This is Part 1 to the “Kingdom Relationship” series.

Notice: I am not a professional marriage counselor, nor a perfect husband. My wife has put up with a lot and given more grace than anyone should have to. I write this series from my heart and under the prompting of the Holy Spirit, my hope is that this message will in some way minister to others and bring those relationships to a whole new level – one I call a Kingdom Relationship.

“And the two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (‭Mark‬ ‭10‬:‭8‬ AMP)‬‬‬‬‬‬

I had mentioned in my last blog post that I would be starting a series on Kingdom Relationships. I am not doing this because I have all the answers or think I’m the perfect husband. I am just a man who was blessed over 23 years ago with the most amazing woman ever to grace this planet. I’m pretty sure I could write a book on what NOT to do in a marriage. “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me” are words I have spoken way too many times and my wife has always forgiven me and loved me no matter what! We live life forward nowadays, not looking back; and you must do the same. She has truly stuck by my side through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Debbie Spanberger, AKA Angel, I dedicate this series to you and want to say thank you for making me the most happy and blessed man on the planet!

Back to my opening title and scripture. One of the reasons I feel relationships fail, has to do with the fact that many never fully see themselves as “one together”. The word “commitment” is almost a dirty word nowadays, and one that society has perverted in so many ways. We want to be on our own and live like we are on our own, even in our marriages. Separate lives, separate dreams, separate bank accounts and the list keeps going. I’m not asking for you to agree or disagree, I’m simply speaking from what I see and hear around me on a regular basis. Marriage failure rates seem to grow daily. (I talk from experience, as I have gone through the divorce walk and I wish that on no one!)

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”
Zig Ziglar

Again, a Kingdom Relationship is not a perfect one. We are human and we are going to mess up. I hear couples say “we never fight” and I want to ask them, “Do you live in the same house and talk to each other?” As male and female, we are wired completely different. (We will get more into that thought later.) I think as males, we have a streak of stupid embedded in us because of some of the things we do and say…. just being real and honest here!

I read an article a few years ago in USA Today that was talking about a growing trend in people living together before marriage, to see if they fit into each other’s lives. They want to see if they like living with each other before they get married so that if they don’t like it, they won’t have to get divorced, just in case the relationship doesn’t work out. How sad of a concept and one that is totally against what the Bible calls marriage. Any level of relationship, especially marriage, is not a trial offer like a piece of software that you try to see if you like it first, but instead, it is a relationship that you enter into fully and committed to from the start.

Nothing I ever put in my posts is meant to be me passing judgment, but instead, to hopefully bring a Christian perspective to those that have ears to hear. I know my readers come from different backgrounds and beliefs, but I will always write and share according to what the Bible says and never add or take away from it. And from that I know that we all can grow and learn.

“Whatever your mindset is when you enter into a relationship, will reveal your staying power during hard times.”
Keith Spanberger

Marriage is clearly defined in Ephesians 5:22-33 (CLICK HEAR TO READ). No gray areas: one man, one woman, fully committed, forever, end of story! So what happened? The lack of commitment as I have said many times already, is the start, but not the full answer.

“Compromise and lack of commitment will destroy any relationship and leave us one day asking why.”
Keith Spanberger

Again, don’t think my wife and I have a perfect marriage, but instead, we have a marriage filled with God’s grace which is crucial for success in anything we do in life.

I have only scratched the surface in this post, but I hope that it stirs your hunger for creating a new fire in your marriage or relationship. Stay with me as we journey deeper in the next post on having a Kingdom Relationship. Also, please share this post with others you know. This blog post and this series are not about lifting me up, but instead, lifting up my God and His Son, Jesus, my savior. My life and marriage would be nothing without Him!

What’s Your Story?

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I have had this title going off inside me for some time now. I hope that by the end of this post, you will be on the right path to finding your story.

I want to ask you a question – WHAT IS YOUR STORY? I’m sure this question prompts many different thoughts. We all have a story and each story will vary because no one path in this life is the same. But I want us to not look at our story as defined by the life we have lived; but instead, by the one life that was given.

1 Peter 2:9 (AMP) “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God’s} own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”

Now, let me ask you again after reading this scripture – WHAT’S YOUR STORY? Our real story starts as a YES. The very simple answer to a life-changing question. Do you believe?

We, as believers, have been chosen and set apart. We are designated for something great; royal above any royalty this world has ever seen. If we dig into the deep meaning of this word, “chosen” we find: “to pick, gather, picked from among the larger group for special services or privileges”. If you go back and reread the scripture now with this meaning and see it as God speaking personally to you, then you will see and know your true story. Your story is uncommon and there will never be another like yours. So live like it, and do it all to the glory of God!

Just a heads up, my next blog post is a kick-off on Kingdom Relationships.

Passion

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“When you catch a glimpse of your potential – that’s when passion is born.”
Zig Ziglar

I like how Zig brings the word “glimpse” into this quote. I believe many are not living a passionate life. So many have allowed the day-to-day things to become a place of comfort or just events and it bleeds over into every area of their life. If we could get a glimpse of the real us, we would live more passionately. Marriages become just a sustaining relationship with no positive emotion when passion is gone. Dreams sink into the memories of yesterday when passion is no more. Our work and service to others becomes nothing more than works when passion is gone. In anything we do, if passion is not present, then it cannot grow and many times it actually separates.

What is PASSION? According to Webster it is, “A strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something: a strong feeling (such as anger) that causes you to act in a dangerous way: a strong sexual or romantic feeling for someone.”

The absence of passion is something that many never see coming. It’s when the passion is completely gone that we normally see the result of its absence. I read a great book by C.S. Lewis titled “The Screw Tape Letters” and it focused around the theme of deception. Via deception, passion can easily become no more. Almost everything we start has some level of passion, but if the coals of passion are not daily stoked, they can easily be smothered out until the artic chill of lifelessness sets in.

“Live with passion”
Tony Robins

“Passion is the genesis to genius”
Tony Robins

You see, God created us for a purpose, but that is not revealed until we live on purpose. Passion is birthed from desire! My desire to serve my God, bless and serve my wife and be a blessing to family, friends and strangers comes from a desire to live a Kingdom life. These are also the ones that fuel me to fulfill my God given dreams.

“We must daily stoke the coals of passion”
Keith Spanberger

Here are a few steps you can take to rekindle passion in your life:
1. Realize it’s never too late to start over again. As long as you have breath it’s not too late.
2. Close the door to negativity. It might mean removing people or things; whatever it is, close the door on it.
3. Realize you are worth it. You deserve to live a passionate life in every area.
4. You’re not anyone else. Don’t try and be someone else or compare yourself to another. Realize that you are one of a kind. A Kingdom original. God created each of us as one of a kind, so be just that.
5. Stop making excuses. It will never be the perfect time to start, so you might as well start RIGHT NOW!
6. It does not have to be perfect to begin!

These are just a few thoughts and I’m sure you can add your own to this. I would love to hear your ideas and any other thoughts below.

So why not start now making today the day you start stoking the coals of passion in every area of your life. Let your spouse know that they are important to you. Let the world see your passion for life. Let your desire to live life to the fullest breath put passion into all that you do. I want to close with this scripture that was part of my Bible time yesterday. I hope it speaks loudly to you and pushes you to be and do more than you ever thought possible.

Galatians 6:9 (AMP) “And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.”