Author Archives: Dr. Keith & Debbie (Zirkle) Spanberger

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About Dr. Keith & Debbie (Zirkle) Spanberger

Husband, Father, Friend, Purpose Coach, CEO, Writer, Blogger, Entrepreneur​, above all, I'm a man God can use. That's me! Living my dreams & helping others do the same...

Celebrate Every Milestone: Your Journey is Worth Remembering!

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Our lives are a journey full of moments—big and small—that shape who we are.  And when we get married and life gets busy, it’s easy to let these landmark days slip by.  But by making it a point to celebrate them, they become a powerful practice that strengthens our relationships and deepens our faith.

In the Bible, we are constantly reminded of the importance of remembering God’s faithfulness.  This act of celebration is rooted in thankfulness.  Psalm 77:11 says, “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.”  When we celebrate our anniversaries, birth dates, or relationship milestones, we are essentially building our own ‘milestones of remembrance.’  We acknowledge that the good in our lives is a blessing and that our journey is supported by someone greater.

Here are three ways to apply this practice in our lives, making our journey richer:

  1. Identify:
    • Think beyond the major holidays. What are the key dates in your life? (e.g., date of meeting a spouse, the day you started a new career, the anniversary of a personal breakthrough, or a commitment to faith).
    • Our Example: Debbie and I met on a blind date on Nov 3, 1991, and she said “I DO” on May 1, 1992, which are both foundational days we always celebrate.
  2. Be Intentional (Doesn’t Mean Expensive):
    • Celebration doesn’t require a big party or gift.  It requires intentionality.
    • Plan a simple, meaningful action: a special dinner, writing a handwritten note, or taking a few minutes to pray together and give thanks for that specific day.  The value is in the memory, not the cost.
  3. Reflect:
    • Use the milestone day as a chance to look back and appreciate how far you’ve come.
    • Then, look forward and reaffirm your commitment to the journey, whether it’s your commitment to a person, a goal, or your spiritual path.  This reflection keeps your foundations strong.

Every single milestone in your life is a checkpoint of God’s grace and a reminder of your perseverance.  Start celebrating those days this year, and you’ll find a renewed appreciation for the journey!

The Power of Words in Marriage

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How your tongue can shape your relationship—for better or worse

We’ve all heard it before: “Words have power.” But few of us realize just how true that is until we see the effects of what we’ve said, whether in encouragement or regret.

The Bible says it clearly:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” — Proverbs 18:21

Words are not just sounds—they are seeds. They carry the power to grow love, trust, and intimacy… or to plant bitterness, pain, and distance.

Communication is the Lifeline of Marriage

In every marriage, communication is the heartbeat. It’s how we resolve conflict, show affection, share our hearts, and stay connected. Your relationship’s strength—or weakness—often comes down to the words you use daily.

Sadly, we live in a world that treats words lightly. Sarcasm, passive aggression, and criticism have become the norm in entertainment and even in everyday conversations.  The result?  A culture desensitized to the damage careless words can cause.

If you come from a background where criticism, yelling, or verbal abuse are common, it’s easy to repeat those patterns without realizing the harm.

But here’s the truth: You have the power to change that.

If You Don’t Like the Harvest, Change the Seeds

Every word we speak is a seed.  Over time, our words create a harvest in our relationships.  If your marriage feels distant, tense, or wounded, it might be time to look at the seeds you’ve been planting.

Encouraging words plant peace.  Honest words build trust.  Gentle words soften hearts.  But harsh words?  They build walls.

If you want a different harvest in your marriage, change your seeds.

Pause Before You Speak

Today, I challenge you to be more mindful of your words.  Before speaking, take a moment to pause and ask yourself:

  • Am I building up or tearing down?
  • Is this coming from a place of love or frustration?
  • Will this help heal or cause harm?

Questions to Reflect On:

  • Am I communicating with my spouse enough, not just logistics, but emotionally and spiritually?
  • Do I speak praise, appreciation, and kindness often?
  • Have I said anything recently that I need to apologize for?
  • Am I using my words to bring life or death into my relationship?

Speak Life, Not Death

You have one life to live.  One marriage to nurture.  One tongue—and with it, the power to either bless or break the heart of the one you love most.

Choose life.  Speak love.  And watch the seeds you plant today grow into a harvest of deeper connection, healing, and joy.

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Naked

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I pray that everyone had a blessed weekend.

For most of us, there’s a deep desire to be loved, heard, needed, wanted, desired, and pursued. I believe every marriage should be full of these things—overflowing, even.

As I share on the topic of “naked,” I encourage you to open your heart and ask God to reveal how you can become the best version of yourself—and how you can consistently show up for your spouse.

“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” 
(Genesis 2:25)

I find it so powerful that when God created Adam and Eve, He made them naked, and they had no shame.

That word “naked” in Genesis 2:25 means “to be exposed.” In other words, God designed marriage to be a space where we can expose ourselves fully—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and physically—without fear, without shame.

Because of this, we can experience intimacy on every possible level. When you are truly “naked” in your marriage—fully exposed and unashamed—you offer your spouse complete access to your life.

You can talk about anything without fear.
You can express your sexuality without inhibition.
You can share your darkest struggles and brightest dreams without worrying about being judged.

But all of this depends on one key condition: that the relationship remains naked, with both spouses willing to remain exposed, honest, and vulnerable in every area.

This goes so much deeper than just the physical. It creates a level of connection and purity that every relationship deserves.

If something has created a wall between you, take responsibility. Apologize for any hurtful words or actions, and begin moving forward, hand in hand.

We must always be intentional about how we treat each other. Watch your words, your attitudes, and your actions. Don’t allow yourself to start taking each other for granted. When you make a mistake, be quick to apologize.

This is how you build a “naked” marriage—the kind God intended.

Remember, it’s NEVER too late to change!

And don’t forget to enjoy the journey!

Battle Ready: Couples “The Pursuit”

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Pursuit Defined: “The action of following or pursuing someone or something.”

When we talk about pursuing our spouse, it means actively and intentionally seeking after them—to cultivate and strengthen the relationship. It’s about making a consistent effort to spend quality time together, engage in meaningful conversations, and discover or rediscover shared interests. Pursuing your spouse means showing up for them emotionally and physically because those two are the power twins of a thriving relationship.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.”
Genesis 2:24

The Hebrew word for “joined” or “cling” in this verse is dabaq, which means to pursue with great zeal. From the very beginning, God was clear: marriage is work! That’s right—it takes intentional effort, but the reward is a deep, lasting love that’s worth every bit of energy you pour into it.

Couples fall in love because they invest in each other. We try to impress one another, we’re careful to be sensitive, and we go out of our way to please. But somewhere along the journey, many couples shift into “coasting mode.” We stop investing. We stop pursuing. Comfort settles in—and with it comes the risk of taking each other for granted. The energetic behaviors that sparked love begin to fade. The result? Lost passion, boredom, and tension.

I can’t speak for everyone, but if we’re being honest, many of us have been there—or are there right now. This comfort zone, if left unchecked, can become a breeding ground for conflict and disconnection, leaving couples passionless and, at times, standing at the edge of separation.

But here’s the good news: resurrection is possible. It doesn’t happen overnight, but with intention, humility, and a little hard work, we can fire up our marriages to be better than they’ve ever been.

Let’s Take Action Together

Pray Together
Faith-filled prayer changes things.

Mark 11:23-24 NKJ “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore, I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

Talk It Out
Ask each other these questions. Listen with open hearts—no interrupting, no negativity, just honest conversation.

  • Do we sometimes take each other for granted?
  • If so, in what ways?
  • What practical steps can we take to begin pursuing each other again, the way we did when we were dating?

Walk It Out

What I mean with “Walk It Out” is to take action steps like:

  • The next time you’re in the car together, reach for your spouse’s hand.
  • When out walking, take the initiative to hold hands.
  • A good bye kiss OR an I LOVE YOU before you end your phone call.

Just taking these simple, quiet gestures says “I’m still here. I still choose you. I still want you”.

It’s all about bringing something new into the moment and even if they don’t respond, just keep investing because it will pay off.

Marriage isn’t easy BUT it’s worth whatever it takes, no investment on our behalf is too much.  

In a world where marriages are falling apart daily, let’s be the light in the world to show what a lasting marriage looks like!

Remember, it’s NEVER too late to change, so let the pursuit begin =)

And don’t forget to enjoy the journey!

Battle Ready – Couples:  “You Don’t Always Have The Answer”

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned (and am still learning), it’s this: I don’t always have the answer—and that’s okay.

When Debbie is going through one of life’s speed bumps, I struggle. I hurt because she’s hurting. For years, I believed it was my job to fix it, to say or do something I thought would be helpful and make it better. But sometimes, trying to help actually made it worse.

I’ve come to realize: Only God can be the calm in the middle of the storm. We’ve got to stop trying to play God in our spouse’s life. That role is already filled.

I read a statement a few years ago that didn’t truly hit home until recently:
“It’s okay not to have all the answers to your spouse’s struggles.”
I’ll be honest—I didn’t like that truth. It feels like I’m giving up when I can’t help, but the more I pray over this, the more I see the truth in it.
I’m not God—and that’s not just okay… it’s necessary as we are called to fully rely on Him above all others.

So often, when we try to help, we draw from our own past struggles. We tell stories, offer advice, and try to give perspective. And while our intentions may be good, sometimes what our spouse hears is:
“I got through it. You should be able to as well.”

That’s not helpful; in fact, it can feel dismissive and create even more issues.

What our spouse really needs in that moment isn’t a solution.
They need presence.
They need compassion.
They need prayer.

Sometimes, that means praying with them out loud in the moment. Other times, it means silently lifting them up while sitting quietly beside them, holding space, being a rock, being there.

We have to remember to validate their feelings, no matter what we think they should feel. It’s not about fixing. It’s about being supportive, present, and listening.

And let’s be honest: shutting our mouths and just listening in love can be one of the hardest things to do—especially when everything inside us is screaming, “Say something! Fix it!” But love often looks like quiet strength.

You don’t always have the answer—and that doesn’t make you weak. It makes you humble. It makes you teachable. It makes you human.

And when we lean into that, we create space for God to do what only He can.

REST

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This post is from my first LWT partner teaching letter of 2024 and I wanted to share it here also with you. It’s titled “Finding Godly Rest in a Noisy World”.

God has always wanted the best for us, His kids, and for us to enjoy the life we have been blessed with. John 10:10 tells us that Jesus came so that we “may have life and have it abundantly”.  Sadly, many aren’t enjoying the abundant life God has blessed us with through Jesus.  Why is that?  I think that it’s in our daily choices and one of those choices is to not rest in the abundant blessings of God.  Where there is no rest there is no joy or peace.

Let’s look at the word abundantly a little closer.  In the Greek translation, it is “Perissos” which translates as superabundance, excessive, overflowing, surplus, over and above, more than enough, profuse, extraordinary, above the ordinary, and more than sufficient. That’s a powerful word and through Jesus, it describes the life God has planned for us, His kids.

We can only find true rest in the Godly abundance that He has provided us IF we can put our faith and trust in Him.  I said, trust and not try!  Living by faith is not a struggle but instead, it’s a rest. You can enter into God’s rest in every area of your life no matter what’s going on around you IF you trust in Him.

I have discovered that stress comes from the way we approach circumstances and our attitudes.  I have realized that the world will probably never change, but I can learn how to change the way I go about handling challenging situations.  When we don’t do our part which is to trust in Him and instead try to do His part ourselves, that’s when we live stressed out with worry, fear, anxiety, frustration, no peace, and no joy.  We MUST always remind ourselves that worrying is useless and trusting God means we give up worrying, reasoning, and anxiety and enter into His rest. 

I want to leave you with this, trust God’s unconditional love for you today and every day. Do what you can do and give Him the rest!  When you find yourself getting frustrated, feeling overwhelmed, like you just can’t do it anymore, remember to stop, get your focus back on Him, and enter His rest once again.  It’s so amazing to know that God is always with us, showering us with His goodness, mercy, and grace!

Enjoy the journey,
Keith & Debbie

A Letter to my Mom

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Dear Mom,

I’m not sure I can truly tell you how blessed I am to call you my mom! You spent my whole life trying to be the best mom possible and you succeeded. You worked hard and gave the best you could as a single parent, especially raising a stubborn child like I was. I watched you work hard as I grew up. Through all my mistakes I made growing up and God knows there were LOTS of them, you still loved me and gave me all that you could.

I saw that after dad’s death, life got really hard for you and I truly felt helpless not being able to take that hardness away. Today I wish so much that I could wrap my arms around you and hold you and feel you hugging me back. I miss those hugs so much! Today marks one year since you changed your address to heaven but this I know, even though you’re not in my present, you’re for sure in my future. I look forward to one day seeing you again. For the present time, I know you’re not suffering, you’re not hurting, you have peace, and you’re living in the presence of our Lord and Savior.

I love you, mom, & miss you!!!!! – Your Son

On this day, one year ago at 7:30 am, I got a call from my mom that sucked all the air out of my life. My mom had for most of 2019, suffered from many different emotional attacks and no matter what we did, we couldn’t help her find her way out. My mom’s attempt to take her life that morning didn’t appear to have been successful and I used all the medical skills I could to save her life. We had no idea that when those ambulance doors closed and they left for the hospital, that we would never see her alive again. This event has forever affected me and my family but by the grace of God, we stand this day, knowing the truth about where my mom is and that we will all be together again in the future!

If today you find yourself lost and feeling like you can’t go on, you’re wrong. You can, you must, because God has a plan for you! Don’t give up, don’t give in.

Seeing Beyond The Cracks

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I took this picture from the top of a watchtower in the medieval town of Rothenburg, Germany.

I was looking at this picture that I took from the top of a watchtower in the medieval town of Rothenburg, Germany. As I looked at it, I noticed the cracks in the glass but then I also noticed the weathered antique window frame surrounding that cracked glass. BUT THEN I saw it – the beautiful vintage buildings beyond the cracked glass and the breathtaking beauty of the land and all of God’s creation.

I wonder how much of the time we stop and only see what is the first glance of what is right in front of us! We focus on the cracks in our lives instead of seeing past them to the beauty that’s there. Those cracks might represent past hurts as well as current health or relationship issues. Life is going to have its cracks but that’s OK, as those cracks are proof of the journey. Sometimes a simple change in perspective goes a long way to newfound freedom.

The power of perspective is unmeasurable. One of the definitions of perspective is, “A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.” What would happen if I just slightly altered my point of view of that which I’m currently facing? A good place for me to start would be within those cracks and to find something that I can be thankful for.

Don’t end 2019 standing in the same point of view focused on the cracks any longer. It’s time to finish strong! Push yourself today to see beyond the cracks by changing your point of view about what you’re facing.

Is the Grass Really Greener?

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Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “I wish I had what they have”? If so, you’re not alone and if you answered “no” then you need to repent for lying =)

I think everyone at one time or another has done this. The “I hate my job, life, situation, etc. bug” has bitten us all and that’s OK. But I can remember a friend once told me, “If you’re not happy where you are, you won’t be happy when you get to where you think you want to be”.

Learning to be happy and finding joy in your present moment is key to living a happy life. I call it having a heart of thanksgiving. Yes, that means even if your job is horrible and doesn’t bring you joy, find a reason to be thankful. Do you have food, clothing and a place to live because of that job? Then be thankful, as many people are living on the streets and struggling to have any one of those things.

You can honestly apply this to anything and in any area in your life. I am not saying this is easy or playing down what you the reader might be going through, but, in all things, we can all find a reason to give thanks!

We live life as though joy is an option when really it’s not unless you want to live sad, depressed and make others around you feel the same. I do believe with all my heart that our joy matters to God and that it’s essential to living a Kingdom life. To look around us and see all that is going on and still realize that joy is possible is the first step BUT it is truly up to us to take that first step. We must stop putting the burden of our joy onto others or giving that much power for our joy to be because of others.

The Bible is full of scriptures referencing “joy”, in both the Old and New Testament.

Psalm 97:12 NIV “Rejoice in the Lord, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name.”

Psalm 100:2 ESV “Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!”

Psalm 32:11 NKJ “Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous; And shout for joy, all you upright in heart!”

Even in hard times, we are called to rejoice which seems to be a crazy concept, BUT honestly, what does complaining and allowing our joy to be stolen away really do? NOTHING!

Matthew 5:12 NIV “Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Luke 6:23 NIV “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.”

Luke 10:20 NIV “However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

We have hope in all things and in all times. Paul pointed this out and it should be a constant reminder.

Romans 12:12 NIV “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

2 Corinthians 13:11 NIV “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16 NIV “Rejoice always”

And there is scripture after scripture: Philippians 2:18, Philippians 3:1

What do you think when you hear the word “joy”? Do you see your problem and start your list of excuses OR do you see Jesus and His completed work at the cross? It’s up to you to find hope in this world and we as believers can find it in the Word and the completed works of Christ every second of every day.

Our joy is not meant to be based on how or how bad we see our life but instead, how we see our God. If you’re struggling today, then it’s time to see God as who He really is, a loving Father who gave His Son as a price paid for you to have life and have it more abundantly.

2018 In Our Rearview Mirror

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Debbie and I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas and are truly enjoying a Happy New Year! We just left behind one of our favorite times of the year. We love when fall arrives and we then enter into the Christmas season. There’s joyfulness in the air almost everywhere you go! As we look back over 2018, we thank God for all His many blessings we saw throughout this past year!

Debbie and I have traveled many miles by plane and car and taken some adventures that we never thought we would take. In June we took part in a week-long training called TEAMS training. This is a training put on by a Christian group that does international rescue missions into the sex-trafficking world. We then returned in August and I put on a week-long medical training course to the same group. (We do plan at some point to connect and go on a mission with them overseas.) Before we returned home to TX, we celebrated Debbie’s birthday at Niagara Falls enjoying both sides, but I think we enjoyed the Canada side the most.

In September I went to California and ministered at a church in Compton, CA that I go to each year. I normally either do a youth camp or the Friday night youth service and then minister in both Sunday AM services. While there this time I taught a “Response Ready” seminar for their church. In these seminars, we talk about active shooter situations and also do a basic medical/CPR training.

In November we flew to Guatemala for our director’s meetings with all our international directors, but the highlight of that trip was watching 502 students graduate from the Bible School in Guatemala. (www.livingwaterteaching.org) It was a blessing to have some good fellowship with our missionaries while there as well as attend a 3-day Holy Spirit seminar. We also had breakfast at the orphanage on campus (The Promised Home) and laid hands and anointed with oil and prayed over each of the babies and toddlers.

We have watched our grandkids take their first steps and added a new furry family member named “Yogi” into our home – he is a chocolate brown cocker spaniel, and everyone loves him. We ended this year watching our son, Ricky, say “I do” to a special young lady he has known almost his whole life. As we now look ahead into this new year, we know God has amazing things for all His children and we are ready for we know the best is yet to come.

So Happy Journeys to all in 2019 =)
Keith & Debbie, Parker & Brandie, Ricky & Harley, Collin, Youko, Astaire, & Koga Spanberger, Josh, Ashley, & Gabriel Underwood, & The Amazing Yogi

To find out more about us and the many things that we are putting our hands to do, CLICK on the following links:
Living Water Teaching www.livingwaterteaching.org
Operation Shoebox CLICK HERE
Mission Trips CLICK HERE
MedCo Training International Facebook Page CLICK HERE
Base-Camp Men’s Encounter Facebook Page CLICK HERE

Instagram:
@rkspanberger
@lwt_inter
@live_response_ready